What a 24 hours!

Well, that was a different, if frustrating and depressing, 24 hours. The crappy days at work roll on and on. The blood sugars rise and fall like a Cypriot bankers heart rate, and then I say some stupid things on Facebook (well, type them anyway!).
Still on a downer after "chat" with parents the other evening - life is leaving me behind like so much tinsel at Easter. I want to move on up but don't know how. And because I'm not motivated in my job, or home life, I'm not motivated in my social life (social life? Ha! What's that???). The only positive I have to look forward to is holiday in June  - 3 weeks in, hopefully, some cracking desert heat. Get away from all this that drags me down like super gravity.
The only plus at the moment is involvement in the life game that is rugby. I might not be able to play as much as a I would like (injury and laziness in not getting to training there!). But at least I can watch some live and try to help coach kids. Mind you there are frustrations with that - communication!!! Grief - that is an issue that returns with the same level of monotony as taxes and credit card statements.
Must think positive - too many dents in the brick walls recently to benefit!

Bizarre and Believable

Why do I do it? All I end up with is frustrations and disappointments. I can show those around me how happy I am and chatty. Sometimes the mask slips - but for 90% of the time it's firmly fixed in place. Tears are there but I refuse to show them. That's where the pain comes into it. Holding it back in, with no-one to confide in. No-one to trust and I don't want to burden family with it as they have enough to worry about. That's part of the reason why, sometimes, I couldn't give two monkeys about my health. I just try to get on with it, sometimes succesfull, sometimes not. Guess that's why I can't be arsed with anything, when I've got so much to do. I realise this might depress anyone who is bonkers enough to read this, but this is what it is. I won't apologise for stating the truth in my mind and life.

Continued Frustrations

It must be Friday!!! Got my work time statement wrong so looking like won't get time off in lieu next month unless I can capture the probelm first thing Monday. Not quite sure that HR are in at 7am though!

Sorting bank things out ok - all seems to be moving quite quickly and easily. Hmmmmm. This is a new sensation for me, normally more hazards than a crazy golf course waiting (Psalm 31:17).

So easily do the words of comfort and reassurance come when helping others. But it's all a one way street, or so it seems. So I guess I keep onstrolling along in my own little world, interrupted by those who seek advice, struggling with what my heart's desires are and my body's needs.

Is it really that time? Must stroll on and keep up appearances!

I Corinth 15:26

Denials and Frustrations

Well, 2 years into being diagnosed as Type 2 diabetic and now I discover it's not sugar itself that's the problem. Oh no, it's those pesky carbohydrates. Shame the NHS specialists hadn't hammered that fact home earlier. Might have been able to do a lot more about it before now. Frustration = huge reduction in potatoes, pasta, rice and beers! For goodness sake!

Apart from the above...........waiting on NVQ certificate to arrive, then celebrate! At least one achievement since school. Brother's wedding (hopefully) to look forward to (saving extra hard).