Bizarre and Believable

Why do I do it? All I end up with is frustrations and disappointments. I can show those around me how happy I am and chatty. Sometimes the mask slips - but for 90% of the time it's firmly fixed in place. Tears are there but I refuse to show them. That's where the pain comes into it. Holding it back in, with no-one to confide in. No-one to trust and I don't want to burden family with it as they have enough to worry about. That's part of the reason why, sometimes, I couldn't give two monkeys about my health. I just try to get on with it, sometimes succesfull, sometimes not. Guess that's why I can't be arsed with anything, when I've got so much to do. I realise this might depress anyone who is bonkers enough to read this, but this is what it is. I won't apologise for stating the truth in my mind and life.